Angry, lecturing shew trolls for men on eHarmony

Ten years ago I was a paying member of eHarmony and matched with a 51-year-old Colorado woman who wrote the angriest profile I have ever seen. (Spelling and grammar errors are hers.)

Here's how she answered the what are you passionate about question in her profile: 

“I'm screening for sincerity. You are not sincere if you're out to random meet. If you ask me to meet you, you will be blocked. I am not here to 'find dates/meets'. My selection process is here on Eharmony, not on a meet or date. I don't meet. And I want nothing to do with the people who are. Also I do not tolerate being insulted so if you don't like my decesion as a single woman, I suggest you deal with it. Quick reminder for men that have been in a bad relationship who try to argue when they want something done there way. Don't try that on me. So if you don't like my HIGH MORALITY you have no say on it.”

Here's what she entered in the most important thing I'm looking for in a person field: 

“Requests to go straight to EH mail will be rejected then blocked without being read. If you do not respect me, do not correspond. If your not understanding and caring, then I do not want contact with you. You will not be negative or insulting in any way. I do not want it around me and have the ability to sift those people away from my life. The person for me is supportive, understanding and caring. One insult and your blocked. I am a sincere person only open for a sincere person. I don't play games and will not tolerate B.S. I have no tolerance for the games of insincere men on the net. Show me your an idiot and I'll block you.”

Here's what she put in the who's the most influential person in your life field: “I am the most infulential person in my life.” Mind your manners are stay away.

This first thing people notice about me: “Requests to go straight to EH mail will be blocked and rejected without being read. Read my profile before you contact me. If you think you have ONE ill word or negative thing to say against me, then DO NOT CONTACT! If you are in any kind of relationship, DO NOT CONTACT ME! If you do contact me, ANSWER the questions in your OWN WORDS. Thank you. Caps for those who have a hard time reading. :

The last book I read and enjoyed: “Off topic, just using this space to write... When answering questions with me I prefer you answer your own and not the stock answers Eharmony offers. This allows me to get to know you. Thanks. If you are not single yourself, DO NOT BOTHER ME! I am about marriage, love and caring. If your not, take a hike!!!!!@!! If your idiot enough to complain about me AT ALL, do not expect to be in my life. I promise that complaining about me will land you in blocked zone. I'm looking for someone who is on my side in life, who cares and gives met he benefit of the doubt WITHOUT question. Show me your not him and you will be instantly removed.”

I typically spend my leisure time: “Requests to go straight to EH mail will be blocked and rejected without being read. Word of warning. If your just having fun you wont' have any contact with me. I will not tolerate even a single negative or idiotic comment. My photos are not up because I am not and will not be a part of your browsing pleasure. Bug off!!!”

The one thing I wish more people would notice about me: “Requests to go straight to EH mail will be blocked and rejected without being read. You can be caring or you can be gone. I'm only interested in the right person for me and that person doesn't have a problem with me or my approach, so if YOU do, keep moving, do not contact me and stay away. I don't want your comments, I don't care what you think and I don't want any contact with you. Requests to go straight to eH mail will NOT be read and blocked before reading. Do not contact me if you don't like it. Too bad.”

A little more about me: “If you whine about me or insult me you will deleted immediately. My morality is high, if yours isn't, BUG OFF! There is no casual affection here, no meets, no dates and I don't and won't deal with anyone who is curious about me. I am here only for a real and sincere connection that leads to marriage and a life long commitment. Anything short of that does not interst me and I DO NOT want to be bothered with the idiot pepe la pew's that don't understand why a woman won't talk to them. If a woman doesn't talk to you she doesn't feel you are sincere or that your morality is high. Simple. If your here to find random dates, bug off!!

MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTIONS:

Two of her answers were memorable:

What best describes your parents' relationship towards each other: “They were married till they passed. BUT that has absoutely nothing to do with me. I don't buy into the crap that their life has anything to do with me or my relationship. That's Bull shit.”

How trusting are you? “I'm trusting when I need to be. And I don't take betrayl lightly.”

Then it was my turn to ask essay questions.

Your profile is big on warnings but says very little about you. What can you tell me about yourself that will make me want to take next step?

“Well I'm not going to try to convince anyone, I personally would find that degrading and not worthy of who I am. I just don't do that. I figure if you need convincing your not the right one, however that's not why more of myself isn't on my profile. I actually don't mind writing so that a person can get to know me, ,,, just would never try to sell myself to anyone. See it's not the man who decides the next step, it's me, the woman. Your not deciding here,,, I am. The man doesn't decide. Never has, never will. Business like Eharmony can give a vision that the man gets to decide or has some say in it, but really... a man never will. That's the honest to Gawd truth. A woman picks you, not the other way around. I don't have more about myself on my profile because I attack the wrong kind of attention, you can't be nice to some men and some are here just to browse and already in relationships.”

Your profile makes you seem like an angry person. Are you? And, if so, why?

“Nope not an angry person. I have boundaries and for good reason. I'm on the net. If you want a woman who is more inviting on here, you might want to consider that she's not just inviting to you, but also the thousand of other men viewing her profile. Also that she is random dating and going along the fad,,, I'm not,, I'm going against the grain, I'm looking for one person to commit myself to,,, my gift is higher and I'm screening out, the idiots, the browsers, the players, those already in relationships and those that are not sincere. The very fact that you think I'm angry means your not the right person for me. Because I'm not and you missed that. But I do have FIRM boundaries up to keep out the rift raft and scum. Your not dealing with men, I am. I'm not random dating, the other women whose profiles your viewing,,, they are. Anytime in life when you go against the grain like I'm doing because I am sincere and looking for ONE man. I'm not out to impress men or a group. I don't do that.”

How did you come to be single at this semi-late stage of life we find ourselves in?

“Well I think enough of the questions. Can tell after your questions that your not the right one for me. Going to wish you the best. Safe travels and good journey. My being single is a choice by the way. I'm looking for a certain personality to mesh with mine and I won't settle for less then the right person for me. Unlike men who are single by no choice, I'm a woman, I have a choice. But I will not be used by anyone who is lonely, or just wants someone who looks good.... my qualifier is sincerity, acceptance and genuine. You insulted me by calling me angry,,, and you did so out of your lack of understanding of me,,, and also insulted me in that there is a real need for boundaries.. I'm on the Internet.. and sorry but I am a woman ,,, and as a man,, you do NOT criticize my selection process. But as a man you just wanted to say something negative to me,,, so,,, cutting you lose. Don't reply with insults, it's what rejected men do. Good luck on your journey and goodbye.”

AFTER THAT I SENT HER THIS MESSAGE:

Well, that’s about what I expected to hear back from you. To be clear, I did not call you angry. I said your profile makes you SEEM LIKE an angry person. I worded it that way intentionally so as NOT to accuse you of being an angry person.

Think about this: You wrote a profile containing nothing about who you are, what you like to do, etc., but full of warnings to men who don’t treat you right. A man contacts you anyway and says you SEEM angry. And you take offense. Well consider this: If you seem angry to me, you probably seem angry to most other men. Do you really want us to think you’re angry when you’re not (as you say)? Why scare everyone off when all you have to do with men who reveal themselves to be idiots is close their match? What’s the point of venting in your profile?

You said I have a lack of understanding of you. Of course I do. I don’t even have the usual scratch-the-surface stuff of most profiles. All I have is prose like, “If you whine about me or insult me you will deleted immediately.” Tell me how that doesn’t convey anger to the average man reading it? (And you forgot the word “be.”)

You said that women pick men and not the other way around. So what do you do when you find Mr. Right? Knock him over the head and drag him back to your home? I don’t mean to sound insulting, but your assertion SEEMS bizarre.

I have been a paying eHarmony member for four years off and on since 2007, seen thousands of profiles, and your’s is the angriest I’ve seen. But it’s different. I’ll give you that. No clichés for you. Not once did you say you love to laugh or are living life to the fullest. Your spelling leaves something to be desired though.

Anyway, good luck to you, too. You’ll need it with a profile (and attitude) like you have.

END OF LETTER: She closed our match at that point. I knew she would eventually but hoped she’d come back with a “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on” type of comment first.